Let’s take an example – If someone asks for directions or looks like they need help, some of us immediately try to help. We think if we don’t help, not only will we look like we don’t know but also that we don’t care. This is very strongly associated in our system. And therefore, to keep up the appearance that you’re a good person, you have to keep up the effort of knowing. ‘I should know.’ And if I don’t know it means not only that I’m good for nothing but I won’t be a good or kind person, won’t be helpful to society.
But we also don’t do this blindly. We learn from society when to speak up and when not to speak up. We’re quite aware that if we show too much of this ‘I know’ attitude, we will be dubbed a Mr. Know-it-all or an arrogant person.
Therefore, whether we take up the example of a person who has to know a lot of things versus a person who doesn’t want to know much and is comfortable in his skin and announces that he doesn’t need to impress anyone, it is the same thing. The second person thinks he knows he does not need to show he is a good person or impress or care. In both examples, he thinks he knows. Humility and arrogance are both the same.
Since we’ve learned these external techniques based upon social morality, we’re able to conceal our attitudes very well from other people through our actions. But since we’re now engaged all the time in concealing our attitudes by our actions, we end up concealing our attitudes from ourselves as well. We can’t see our own patterns. We set out to fool everyone else, but we end up fooling ourselves.